Got An Angry Kid? Parenting Spike: A Seriously Difficult Child (Growing with Love)

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Good luck to you.

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And your children. Try being in any one of our shoes. Do everything you can to understand your child, do all the discipline techniques, do all the positive reinforcement techniques, ask for help from doctors, ask for help from the school…. Very much agree! I have a younger brother who was labeled ADHD at a very young age. We have tried spankings and time outs and grounding and taking things away, and I still have an angry daughter.

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We take it one day at a time with as much understanding and patience as we can possibly muster. She is not trying to get out of dealing with hard things or letting her kid run all over her. She is actively seeking solutions. The diagnosis does help as a first identifying step and there are many resources for parents whose kids have this. I spent years convinced my parenting was the problem with my daughter! I thought I somehow broke her! Nothing I did helped, all techniques learnt through raising my son that had been effective failed miserably and actually usually only made thing worse!

Just process that for a moment — a happy, intelligent 9 year old boy and an angry, mean, violent, foul mouthed, in pain, self harming, clever 6 year old girl! How could that be parenting when I am the same parent? We have new consequence plans, good angry choices for her to choose when angry as well as so many other things.

What I get from your comment, Adam Wood, is that giving a situation a name is not the same as giving it a solution. Generally they are the ones on the receiving end of the outbursts all day long and they are definitely not just spectators watching the show, they are trying to show they are loving in a hard-to-love atmosphere. The diagnosis is the power of knowledge for these families.

It allows them to treat the illness properly, to treat the child properly, and to stop living in shame and blame.

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The same way diagnosing cancer allows the affected to get the treatment they need. If anything this diagnosis requires the parent to be more diligent in their parenting disciplines and the child to be more aware of how their behavior affects the family. Guess what it is at home. He is an Angel child at home. At school when other kids get in his space or hurt his sensitive heart or it becomes super wild and noisy and he becomes super agitated and wound up in class then physically lashes out with out even thinking.

Yep he has nothing just bad parenting. Thank you for this article. You are describing me son,too. Bless these children who struggle daily and often go misunderstood. And you have to admit, neither do we. Thank you. I have an angry child. Spanking included.

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You just gave me a plethora of resources to help him, myself, and my husband manage to make it through this journey called parenting. If only all moms were like you. As tough as it got you never gave up. You did what was best for your child. I admire you. Thank you for posting this. And no punishment or discipline helps.

Quiet zones for him are the most helpful.

My biggest concern is how it affects relationships with his peers, because once you have angered him, you are now his worst enemy seriously, he called kids his arch enemies at age 4. And it is getting better, very slowly. I hope you and your son can work through this, and find tools that work for him. Thank you for writing this. I was against spanking before I even had kids, but I allowed myself to be influenced that spanking was OK. However toddler years have been very rough. I started spanking whenever my child would disobey me. Then she started to show aggression toward herself and others.

My husband and I decided spanking was not the best thing for our daughter and we stopped. The anger is still there in our daughter but she is getting better. Others have decided to put in their input though and criticize us for our decision. I just want to say that spanking did not work for us and it has caused harm to our child. With that being said I emplore anyone choosing spanking as a form of discipline please check out other options.

Violence is not the answer. In my opinion spanking is a form of bullying. We are bullying our kids into being good. We should show love and respect for our children when displining that is what will impact them for the rest of their lives. I have a 4 yr old, whome I nearly never spanked, and is a reasonably easy child with a light and free spirit.

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It is very difficult reversing what I had done, when I thought it was the right thing to do. And now that my daughter is in school, facing bullies, she needs me to be a soft place to land… Not a bigger bully. Many blessings to you all on this rocky road! I agree, spanking does not work, but instead further complicates a very complicated situation. Thank you! BUT what I have learned is nutrition does work.

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She is like a completely different child! I know you are probably tired of the research but maybe check out the book GAPS. Gut and psychology syndrome Natural treatment for dyspraxia, autism, A. D depression and schizophrenia. My son was born at 23 weeks and weighed one pound five ounces.

I tried to get that extended because I realized there was something different about him. I talked with my pediatrician that simply told me it was a power struggle, and his therapist that told me to pick my battles. Both conversations were a waste of time, and did not help our family. Mason has some type of what i feel is an anxiety disorder. We cannot leave our house without waiting on him to go through this process of turning certain lights on and others off, rearranging toys or insisting they go with him, and then dealing with the meltdown that accompanies his realization that he has to leave the house.

Some people mention that to them it appears to be OCD. I disagree. I say that because he will shake all over and cry and scream if he cannot complete his process. The process is different each time, and there is no order to it. We also go through a similar process at bedtime. Not as dramatic though. It makes it worse. He is now three, and we are getting ready to work with him on finding out what would be a good alternative to his fits.

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Maybe a warm bath, reading a book, taking a walk, or just talking it out. I love this child to the moon and back, and I need a calmer household. His behavior and reaction to a disruption to the behavior is very typical of OCD. He feels compelled to do something and simply cannot ignore it. He has a severe emotional and even physical response to not completing the task.